The Cat as Reincarnation of Queen Anne

T'is Saturday, the traditional day of The Promenade, whereby The Cat commandeers an escort and entourage for the weekly trip to The Great Outdoors. Much fussing, pomp and circumstance accompany this venture reminiscent of medieval British royalty setting out upon Progress from one castle to the next, proceeded by bannermen and trumpeters. It must be performed with the proper rituals and rites. Much is made of the appropriate attire, duration and destination, both outbound and return.

The Announcement
First there is the Rite of the Queen's Annoucement. This begins the ceremony. With great purpose, The Cat strides to the front door, lets out a bellowed order, turns twice, then retreats to the closet door. This is performed three times in quick succession, heralding the beginning of the Presentation of the Imperial Necklace.

Presentation of the Imperial Necklace
The three point harness and leash is presented to The Cat for the nod of tacit approval. With disdain, The Cat allows the Royal Stablemaster to approach, which he does while bowing with great respect. The Cat permits the harness and leash to be strapped into place, then embarks on a performance of modern dance that would put Martha Graham's most elite student to shame. The end of this dance is marked by The Cat falling to one side, feigning anguish and horror, and descending into what appears to the untrained eye to be a fainting spell. Thus positioned, a curt nod brings the ritual to the third stage, The Promenade.

The Promenade
The Cat is borne into the air, where she perches regally upon the arm and shoulder of the Royal Stablemaster and faces the front entrance. The Gatekeeper opens the door, and the Progress begins. The Cat observes the state of the journey with solemn eyes, speaking only to issue the occasional order to the royal bearers as they cross the threshhold and make their way onto the porch and down the front steps.

The caravan slowly turns west until the exact point where shade meets sun. Upon this fragile divide, The Cat is lowered reverently, where she collapses and performs a sequence of ecstatic rolls and twists upon the sandy pavement. This accomplished, The Cat slowly makes her way to the edge of the pavement and locates the nearest blades of grass, selecting only the finest for her mid-Promenade feast. Once sated, The Cat rests near the grass and watches with grave approval while the Royal Stablemaster stands discreetly nearby (back and left one full pace at all times).

End of the Promenade & The Return Journey
At the end of the rest period, The Cat stands and nods, signifying that it is time to proceed. She makes her way back to the pavement slab, repeats the rolling and twisting performance, then stands and waits for the Royal Stablehand to bear her back up the porch steps and over the threshhold. Once inside, the Presentation of the Imperial Necklace is performed, in reverse, including the modern dance. When completed, the ritual is declared to be finished by The Cat.

Observer tickets are on sale from 8:00 AM until 9:55 AM the day of the Promenade, weather permitting.